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So you want to know me, huh? Well. It’s been a while since I’ve really thought about who I am, but here goes. I’m me. In all my unfiltered, unedited, untouched glory. I simply am who I am. I am not physically fit, or active, or attractive in most ways, though like anyone I have my moments of vanity. I am not overly talented at any one thing, something that continues to be a source of consternation for me, when just once I would like to truly shine at something; though that is likely because I don’t always have the drive, dedication, and determination that are needed to excel at something. I can understand that. Until I polish my own burnished edges, how can I ever expect to shine? I’m not well-known, or wealthy, or socially active, and I certainly don’t have the confidence and self-esteem that I know I should. But enough of what I am not. I think it is time to tell you who and what I am.
I am 27 years old. I am a sister, daughter, granddaughter, niece, and friend. I am single. I am well-educated. I am a teacher. I am loyal and kind, empathetic and wise, impulsive and thoughtful. I am fun and sometimes funny, crazy and kooky and everything in between. I am a myriad of good qualities and faults. I am moral, but not hypocritical in that morality. I believe in what I believe whole heartedly, yet I see the need for free will and individual choice, even if it is not what I would choose. I look in the mirror and see nothing but faults, feel vanity, want to be pretty, and some days I actually feel pretty. I say harsh things, but I always regret them. I make mistakes, but I try to fix them, and even when I can’t, I always learn from them. I have bad days, when all I want to do is cry and it is so hard to see the dawn in the darkness that precedes it, but I try. I make a game of finding the silver linings in life, for how can you be poor and unhappy when surrounded by silver. I have many interests, punctuated by long periods of attention or inattention, from the stars to the depths of the ocean, I enjoy so many things. I sing, sometimes well, sometimes not. I inhale books. I breathe in the words and stories, content to bring other worlds alive in my head. When I tire of the movie theatre in my mind I absorb TV and movies, loving the movie-going experience in someone else’s head. I write, though I often have ideas that are bigger than my talent. My imagination truly has no boundaries. From moment to moment I could be exploring the depths of the ocean, romancing a white knight, or delving into the mysteries of Ireland. I explore the internet, not for news and world understanding as perhaps I should, but for things and ways to teach, learn, and enjoy life. I laugh, as often as possible. I smile at perfect strangers. I thank others for the efforts they exert on my behalf. I hang out with friends, to laugh, listen, and cry. I keep my family as close to my heart as possible. I love my home and my heritage and my history.
But there is one thing about me, one thing that I both love and hate equally, and that is how I feel simply everything. I feel for the animals left in the cold, in the slaughterhouses, in the streets. I feel for the children with no food, no homes, no clean water to drink. I cry at commercials and stories, jokes and movies, and anything else with some sort of sentiment. I feel strongly about everything, often when I likely shouldn’t. This bugs me to no end. But I also love, fiercely, whole-heartedly, and with every inch of my being. I laugh and cry and love like it’s the air I breathe, the water I drink, the food I eat. If I love someone or something I never let it go. I never back down or look away. My family, my friends, they never doubt how I feel about them, and I never want them to. I love with my whole being and though I don’t always appreciate my sensitivity and sentimentality, I would never change it, for it is a key component of me and who I am.
Every single one of you is.